Update:
Recompiled kernel without alsa support, threw in the alsa-driver package in gentoo's portage, rearranged my /etc/modules.d/alsa configuration and voila. Working skype.
Turns out I was doing a few things wrong.
Here's what my config looks like now:
Gentoo 2006.0
UDEV 087
Kernel 2.6.16-gentoo-r3
SB Audigy emu10k1
AC97 on-board audio intel8x0
alsa-driver 1.0.11 Final
modules.d/alsa---------------------------
alias char-major-116 snd
alias char-major-14 soundcore
#Card 1
alias snd-card-0 snd-emu10k1
alias sound-slot-0 snd-slot-0
alias sound-service-0-0 snd-mixer-oss
alias sound-service-0-1 snd-seq-oss
alias sound-service-0-3 snd-pcm-oss
alias sound-service-0-8 snd-seq-oss
alias sound-service-0-12 snd-pcm-oss
options snd-emu10k1 index=0
alias /dev/dsp snd-pcm-oss
#Card 2
alias snd-card-1 snd-intel8x0
alias sound-slot-1 snd-slot-1
alias sound-service-1-0 snd-mixer-oss
alias sound-service-1-3 snd-pcm-oss
alias sound-service-1-12 snd-pcm-oss
options snd-intel8x0 index=1
alias /dev/dsp1 snd-pcm-oss
options snd cards_limit=2
-----------------------------------------------------
Everything peachy. Just like it never happened